Puss-in-Boots

This post is dedicated to my poor, innocently bystanding feet, upon whom a classic case of Girl vs Boot was inflicted this morning. It happens every year: some summer garage sale yields a miraculous pair of damn fine, perfect-for-winter and EVER-so-slightly-too-small boots for the price of a coffee or two. I try them on and strut around, casting admiring looks at my ankles in every available semi-reflective surface, figure my feet'll shrink in winter anyway, and take them home, where they sit smug and good-lookin' by my wardrobe. Then winter comes. It's their time to shine. I crack them out, build an outfit from the feet up, and limp home two hours later with giant blisters where my heels used to be.

It's not as masochistic as it sounds because I'm pretty sure I have the world's most blisterable feet. A pair of carpet slippers once put me in flip-flops for a week (and then I got blisters on my toes, just to balance things out). But these boots were their own particular variety of hell. They're (too) solid, (too) well-made, and lined in sheepskin. "That'll cushion things nicely" I thought when I bought them. It didn't. So I spent most of the morning lurching around on my toes, like I was wearing high heels after two too many drinks, wincing and staggering every time I had to stand up. In Round One of Girl vs Boot, Boot was the outright winner.

Normally under these kinds of conditions I'd give in, you know? I like my feet. I spoil them with the occasional massage and lick of toenail polish. I wear orthopedic shoes almost every day. I'm only prepared to inflict so much on them in the name of fashion. But these shoes are amazing. They're hot. They're everything I ever wanted in a boot, and then some. They're not the kind of boot you'll ever find anywhere again, let alone in a half-size larger. They were made in Italy at least twenty years ago and they look like they'll last another fifty. Substitute Brisbane for Italy and the same could be said of my feet. So we're even, right? Let Round Two begin.

In maybe a month.